Seems I have a curfew.

Each day I try and find quiet time for myself to do a few things on the computer, each day I let myself be distracted or interrupted thinking I can do my work later, most days I am wrong. After 7:30 p.m. each night my presence is asked for by Lily, and how can I disappoint her simply because I did not defend my time from other distractions? I can’t and so, I am not getting everything done but I seem to have this optimist attitude that tomorrow will be easier.

I have asked Denis to distract Lily for 15 minutes tonight so I can write a bit tonight since I lost my free time doing other things earlier. I need to have all my stuff done by 7:00 p.m. each night so that I can be there with Lily for evening fun, chilling out and nursing. This time will go so fast, I don’t want to miss out because I am not focused. She turns 9 months this Saturday!

Part of what was distracting me earlier this evening was organising of my new tools for my practice and working on the thank you cards I want to send out to all who have been helping me out lately. I think I need to make a list of things I want to do this weekend as well. I have a fairly big list of things and it will be easy to think there is lots of time and then there will be no time for the number of jobs I think I want to get accomplished. One thing that is getting perfected, is my ability to tell the difference between things that need to be done and things I want to do. It is amazing how often a thing will start out in the need to be done column and end up in the want column.

Tomorrow I’ll write a tiny bit about the different constitutions. We think Lily is a Sulphur, which is frightening if you don’t know what to do, but more about that tomorrow.

It feels like forever since I have been able to write an entry for the blog. Adjusting to life in Ontario is taking a bit of time. Probably because each week has been a bit different from the last, so it makes it hard to find a rhythm. I think that is changing now, the manic chaos has subsided and now we are just busy.

After graduation and a scenic drive home turning a 5 hours drive into a 9 hours adventure we prepared for our next big event. A party to celebrate all that has happened since we last left Canada. Our wedding, Lily’s birth and my graduation. Our friends from France came to Ontario from their trip out in Alberta and headed away to see some sights and go camping. The party was this past Sunday and Each night we have gone to bed with me in such a state of tiredness that after Lily was asleep I did not have the energy to get back up.

We have a much less strenuous five months ahead of us now. We really did over fill the days, which took up many sleeping hours to fulfil all the things we wanted to do. Now we are back to filling just the days and finding rest time and ample sleep time. It is important that long term we are balanced but if on rare occasions we want to burn the candle at both ends it is nice to know we are good at it but we know when to stop too.

We are a real team, every where we go we adapt, now Denis is Lily’s primary person. I have been adjusting, sometimes I am sad to be away but I am happy to be working towards our greater goal (my practice will be run from our ever changing homes). Denis and Lily are so good together, she loves him so much and he is so good with her, teaching her naturally as she is ready. Right now he is teaching her about edges of things and when to bend to his advice to stop and come back to him. She is doing remarkably well with it. She lets me know that she would rather I stick around too but that can help her out. Especially in the early morning when I am trying got get up and in the evening when it is time to go to bed. I am still her snuggle friend at night. I cherish each and every night I get.

Tomorrow I get to go shopping for a few office supplies for the practice, Friday I take my first patient post school. I am very honoured to be getting going so quickly. I am ready and full of quiet joy at getting to do what I love.

A true life of love I have.

Graduation was a quiet affair, we attended a little ceremony and then headed back to our campsite at our friends house to have a quiet night. Some other folks went out for a meal but I was happy to just take it easy with Lily rather than heading to a restaurant. It was such fun this summer school, I missed a few faces but loved it other than that.

The drive home was such fun, we took the super scenic way, and I showed Denis and Lily where my family used to go for the weekend for many years. We’d love to have a bit of land up north somewhere to call our own. One day maybe. As for now the drive and the couple stops we made brought about a lovely feeling. Denis and Lily got into a river on the way home, some small falls. I thought it was too cold but they were happy. I would show you photos but I can’t find the lead that connects the camera to the computer.

Monday was busy at work and then our friend came in from her horse back vacation in Alberta. Seems she had a lot of fun but was also scared silly. She tells tales of horror, in her eyes, of the crazy places they went riding. My favourite tale was how when two of her guides disappeared around the trail and everyone else had to wait in line she got impatient with another woman and they peaked around the bend to see what was the hold up and there was the guide on his hands and knees scraping away at the side of a mountain trying to build a bit of trail to carry on where a washout had completely erased all signs of a path. My friend seems to have cursed a lot on the trip but still wants to come back and do another ride.

Today mom and I cleaned 5 houses, Denis and Lily joined at one so I could nurse and they came in for a bit. Lily decided to climb the 14 stairs to the second story of the house. Denis called me to witness it, as I was vacuuming down the hall. She made it all the way up with only one wobble when I spoke and distracted her as she did not think I was there. She is so strong and such a thinker. She will be running around in no time and we will be busy for the next 16 + years trying to keep up before we just have to watch her go on her own.

Looking forward to Sunday when we have our party to celebrate our wedding, February 5, 2014. Lily’s birth last November and now my graduation and the start of my practice. Next week I will officially start taking patients!

Not sure how my life could be more exciting right now. As always, feeling blessed to have Denis as my partner, lover and superhero dad to our daughter. I could not have done this without him.

Today is a big day.

I started my day as I do all my days, snuggled in bed with my family, waking as slowly as needed with lazy nursing, smiles leading to laughter and then jumping on the bed in expectation (not all of us jump). This auspicious day broke with the sun drying up the dew and our friend calling us to greet the day. Today I graduate.

My energy is calm on the surface but swirling underneath, I know this mostly because I have nibbled my finger nails off, always a sign on emotional turmoil in me. For the most part these days my nails are long but a few times a year I nibble them off, a childhood habit of stress. Today is not a negative stress but simply anticipation of the world about to be opened to me.

Plus today’s afternoon lectures are being ‘brought home’ with the use of music. We are listening to music to show the path of the emotions we are talking about. So a purposeful emotional rollercoaster from the expansive forces of curiosity, empowerment, sexual freedom and genital primacy to the compressive forces of hurt, betrayal, armouring, deep pain and disconnecting and now we are coming back to empowerment but with knowledge and wisdom and truth rather than simply searching for satisfaction. Right now the songs are hopeful… Hoping we end on a happy note, I am sure we will. It is the story of Romance after all.

Denis and Lily are cruising around, we had a treat of gelato for lunch dessert. My dear friend who we are staying with braved the one way streets and construction to get me to my first mentor in Heilkunst favourite gelato store. It was well worth it I think. The shop is so clever that they sold the 1/2 litre option in a divided insulated container, a little styrofoam chest for one dollar extra. I got us mint chip and strawberry pear. I liked the strawberry pear better than the mint chip which surprised me. Lily was not going to have any at first as she had ‘chipmunk’d’ her chicken in her cheek again and I dug some out with my finger which made her cross. Cross enough that she was not going to open her mouth for us again. Thankfully she smiled huge and I snuck some of the strawberry one in and she forgave me for my theft of her chicken. She was once again our little bird, open mouth and waiting for us to fill it with yummy goodness.

Just an hour left, 8 years… hard feeling to describe, it is a very good feeling. I am so ready for the next part of this journey, I feel like I have climbed a mountain and now I can see so much, I see where I can go, the choices I can make and the valley I am going to travel through next.

Blessed.

Jurisdiction, Truth, Law, Love.

Each day we learn so much, each day stuff is reinforced, each day we grow. The more I study the more I see how much more there is to know. It is like when I started my studies I discovered a door. Upon walking through that door I discovered a large room of treasures, now there is a secret door that you kinda have to twist and turn to squish through, and now I see a whole new world. And that world has a sky full of galaxies.

It would be so overwhelming without  map and that is what we learn, how to read a map of how to really help ourselves and our patients. One size does not fit all. A quick little explanation given;

A patient comes to you who is unable to stop eating ‘Twinkies’. How do you deal with that?

Short answer, find the true cause of the addiction. Longer answer, the cause could be chemical addiction, emotional addiction, diseased mind state, and so on.

Finding truth is such an adventure, it is what I really love about this. Nothing is accepted at face value we always dig as deep as we can go, not just far enough to get the answer we are looking for but further, to see if what we think holds up beyond the accepted truth. Truth is always truth, we don’t have all the answers but we are making a map of how to navigate what the geniuses have discovered. Go to the source of the “discovery” and see how the information holds up.

A system or community of wisdom is what I am part of. Tomorrow marks the graduation of my first 8 years of study in Heilkunst. It was a long journey, lots happened in that time period, I have changed so much, and I am so happy to be able to continue my studies, tomorrow is not an end it is just a beginning of another stage of my growth. Officially I will start my third year of study of Romantic Medicine (see Wikipedia) the community that Heilkunst belongs to. I will also be starting my practice of Heilkunst officially at our party on August 16th. Life is good.

All this joy and I am further blessed with my family and friends. My cup runneth over.

I love what I study!

I am so very blessed. Last night after class we travelled back to our friends place, happily chatting the whole way. We had just the briefest bit of rain during dinner and then the weather cleared and we had a quiet night. Lily is loving the camping and though she is getting a few bites from the mosquitoes she does not have big reactions and she is not itching any of the bites she is getting. Tonight we are going to have to get into the lake, I don’t have the courage to have a cold shower in the morning, I just can’t wrap my head around it if there is another way to get clean.

That is later though and right now I am getting to submerse my spirit in the knowledge of so many great minds all cumulated in the lecture being given by two men. The wisdom being shared is so timely that it feels like, at times, that the information being dispensed has been catered for me alone and what I am doing currently in my personal life and my practice. Last night I talked to Denis about how excited I was with what we learned and tonight I will be even more excited. The beauty about what we are learning is it is principles and laws, so my dear friend sitting beside me is also applying what we are learning to her current life. Genius is timeless. It is also fun, exciting, and life giving.

I just looked out the window, and Denis has Lily in his arms, fast asleep. He is searching for her blankets and making the two of them a little cosy spot to sleep under a tree for the last of todays lectures. It is so nice having them around to enjoy lunch and breaks with. Seems Denis took Lily for a walk along the canal today and Lily decided she really liked someone and basically threw herself into his arms. She is such character, no fear and such a zest for life and curiosity that we never want to quench. All she will need is a little guidance from us to keep her from harmful things until she can discern what is resonate herself.

So all that is going on filling my heart and I am seeing photos from our friends who are travelling around Alberta for the first time, and other friends who are down in South Africa checking out the land that we are hoping to move to when our Canadian adventure comes to an end. Hearing from other friends who are waiting for babies to be born shortly, or enjoying babies who have recently been born. People moving, on holiday or just staying at home enjoying their lives.

It feels like there is a certain joy spending around right now… just like was taught in the lecture yesterday, when in love you see the whole world through that energy.

How fast one day disappears into the next.

What I thought would be one day missed has turned into four! It started out with me being very tired from a very late Thursday and I felt unable to write anything that would make sense so I opted to write Friday. Well Friday we headed off to my brother’s and then to my father’s houses. My dad does not have internet in his home and has limited mobility and so Friday’s entry was a bust.

The weekend was brilliant we went out on the boat, went swimming in the lake (wading for me, swimming for Lily and Denis) played with the various animals at my brother’s place, ate yummy food and did a bit of running around and a bit of shopping for our week at summer school. Sunday on our way back to mom’s the weather turned bad. Really windy and rainy and lightening… the lightening was incredible. One town over from mom’s place was full of trees that had been blown down. My Aunt later informed us that a tornado had touched down a bit south of us.

Needless to say Monday had no power/internet. I packed for summer school in Ottawa in the morning because our clean was cancelled due to lack of water and power. The afternoon clean had a generator, for the first half of the clean and mom and I managed to get it all done, which was great to have pocket money for our trip. Tuesday was crazy busy, two cleans in the morning (one house was new and I really liked it despite the freshly dead mouse under the grand piano) and then home to shower, finish packing the food and start our journey to Ottawa. It was a rather pleasant drive, I was worried how Lily would handle it but she was fine. It took a long time we left at 2:30pm and got in at 9:00pm one crazy rain storm, two deer, one rest stop at a giant apple that had all sorts of yummy things to eat and a little petting zoo and one crazy GPS that tried to send me down gravel roads and we made it.

We set up our tent in the dark and our friend had a generator to blow up the air mattress (which is possibly 18 inches high!) and we were ready for bed. Well, we should have been ready for bed, Lily was over excited. She loves camping it seems, she jumped and bounced and free fell all over the bed. Finally she threw herself across my belly and stopped wriggling.

This morning found us only 10 minutes late for class and I am now deep enough into learning about German philosophers that I am already playing catch up and thankful that this is being recorded and I can listen again later to let it really sink in.

Work is getting easier, not that is was hard but I seem to be hitting a rhythm already which is good. Today I snacked on a banana early on in the first clean and it really perked up my energy. That said I was still tired coming home and I was so grateful that God sent me Denis to marry. Lily was sleeping and in her car seat when we popped home to pick her up for the errands and chores we had after the house cleaning, and then when we got back for the night he had sorted all the clothes for Lily that she has been given by my brother. The house was clean and he was washing dishes as fast as mom could make them. Her turn to cook and I just sat and relaxed. It is nice to have such a teammate that your day gets easier because of them.

When mom and I were running around we stopped at the grocery store to get ice cream as a treat since it is so incredibly hot. I must say I am absolutely shocked at the prices of food. I don’t remember it being quite so bad when we left three years ago and to eat healthy is jaw dropping expensive. What is going on? We are so very blessed that my mom and brother raise all the meat we eat. Sadly the deer got into mom’s garden this year so a lot of stuff has disappeared down their throats, I guess it is to be expected given where mom lives.

Speaking of food and where mom lives, tonight we are chasing a few extra mosquitoes that snuck in while we were waiting for mom’s cat to come home. Each night we make sure she comes back as there is a fox den about 400 meters from the trailer and that little momma is feeding four! The same number of chickens she has taken. My mom is not impressed and is a little worried for her cat’s well being. Lovely kitty but not the most athletic for keeping herself safe.

I must work on getting new photos now that we have found the camera, it was in a nice safe place, well hidden from my eyes. Tomorrow is a good day for that to start. Tonight I could only try and snap a photo of the moon.

Where is your hearts path?

Following my hearts path is so important to me, finding that path can be a challenge. Keeping to that path when I am tired or distracted has its challenges but I am getting so much better. I don’t get excited like I used to about stuff that really does not matter and right now I am pretty grateful for that. I seem to be really working on holding the space of peace steady while other choose to come and go in a state of unrest. To love people enough to let them work through their lessons with only offering support and not offering to carry them is a gift. To them and myself. No one can do the work of another on their behalf. Martin Luther fought the church so many years ago for selling indulgences to family members of deceased folks.

An odd bit of history to be remembering but it makes sense to me. When in Germany 2 years ago for my birthday Denis took me to the church that the 95 theses were nailed to. I am not personally attached to any specific organised religious teaching but I pull wisdom from the great teachings when I can. Mostly I find that the hardest part about reading old texts (including but not limited to the Bible) is that the deeper meaning is lost in the translation. I hated Shakespeare as a girl, I was so literal and I found his work incredibly difficult to understand. Why write about great things but hide it in a language that is barely understandable for it real jewels it contains? Why not speak plainly?

I guess it is because simple language can be corrupted, the meaning can be altered to fit the beliefs of the person or society who is interacting with it. I feel that we interact with knowledge whether it be in the written form or other manner. That said even since we were kids we have all had different experiences of the same written word, just think back to your english classes. Everyone was assigned the same book and everyone had a different impression of the book at the end of reading it. The hard part is that the teacher often took the stance that there was a right and wrong way to interpret the book. I even had to read a book in collage in which the author himself wrote a forward apologising to students that they had to look for a deeper meaning in his simple story. The author claimed it was a simple story and that was all he intended to write. The teacher however had a very different opinion and made us rip the book apart finding things that were there if we looked for them but in finding them we missed the story.

I think that is also like life, sometimes it is simply what you see and sometimes it is so much more than the surface. Life is about knowing how to tell the difference.

Bllaaa, Bla, Blaaa, Bbbllaaa

Lily is helping me tonight. She is sitting in my arms chattering away. She and her daddy did good today, I missed them but happily they did good with me away working. We met up between cleans so I could nurse Lily and then they were gone again. It was a busy day, when mom and I finished working we picked up Lily and headed to town to get a few things. Lily made friends with a few people, it is so hard to resist her smile.

Finally at about 7 she decided that she wanted some mommy time, which was good for my heart. Even better was she was over that soon enough and was happy playing with her new toys, or hanging out with either her daddy or grandma as well. Now she’d be happy with her daddy but I would rather have her in my lap, as difficult as it makes it to type she is such fun and working for 8 hours without her or her daddy around is a bummer.

It is ridiculously hot here right now, making for uncomfortable days and longed for cool evenings. Thankfully my body seems to be fine with the work and I have not lost my touch from when I cleaned with my dear friend out west. My mom has a bunch of really great clients with some beautiful houses and properties. It is nice getting to ‘window shop’ for designs, we get to see what works, what is easy to maintain and what functions well. It is going to be so much fun pretending to build and rebuild dream houses with the various parts of the houses we clean.

Loving homeopathics as always. Yesterday Denis got stung by a wasp and we used Apis and immediately the sting was gone. I  intend to make a list of remedies for Denis to have on hand for Lily and him while I am away. Right now they need to make sure they don’t get heat stroke, sunburns or insect bites. I found a great recipe for natural sunscreen which was one of the shops mom and I did not make it to tonight before they closed. I will share the recipe with you now but I have not yet tried it myself so I don’t know how it feels on the skin.

Homemade Natural Sunscreen (Modified from Earth Remedy.org to Healthy Holistic Living.com to here)

• 1/2 cup of 100% pure aloe (preferably organic) – it should be globby, like it came fresh out of the plant.
• 20 drops carrot seed oil OR raspberry seed oil – (raspberry seed oil has a higher SPF if that is what you are looking for)
• 5 tbsp coconut oil
• 3 capsules of Vitamin E oil (break open the capsules) or hemp seed oil (2 tbsp)
• 5 drops of Lavender oil
• 1 tbsp avocado oil which helps increase the sun protection factor (SPF)