Emotions

Today is a big day.

I started my day as I do all my days, snuggled in bed with my family, waking as slowly as needed with lazy nursing, smiles leading to laughter and then jumping on the bed in expectation (not all of us jump). This auspicious day broke with the sun drying up the dew and our friend calling us to greet the day. Today I graduate.

My energy is calm on the surface but swirling underneath, I know this mostly because I have nibbled my finger nails off, always a sign on emotional turmoil in me. For the most part these days my nails are long but a few times a year I nibble them off, a childhood habit of stress. Today is not a negative stress but simply anticipation of the world about to be opened to me.

Plus today’s afternoon lectures are being ‘brought home’ with the use of music. We are listening to music to show the path of the emotions we are talking about. So a purposeful emotional rollercoaster from the expansive forces of curiosity, empowerment, sexual freedom and genital primacy to the compressive forces of hurt, betrayal, armouring, deep pain and disconnecting and now we are coming back to empowerment but with knowledge and wisdom and truth rather than simply searching for satisfaction. Right now the songs are hopeful… Hoping we end on a happy note, I am sure we will. It is the story of Romance after all.

Denis and Lily are cruising around, we had a treat of gelato for lunch dessert. My dear friend who we are staying with braved the one way streets and construction to get me to my first mentor in Heilkunst favourite gelato store. It was well worth it I think. The shop is so clever that they sold the 1/2 litre option in a divided insulated container, a little styrofoam chest for one dollar extra. I got us mint chip and strawberry pear. I liked the strawberry pear better than the mint chip which surprised me. Lily was not going to have any at first as she had ‘chipmunk’d’ her chicken in her cheek again and I dug some out with my finger which made her cross. Cross enough that she was not going to open her mouth for us again. Thankfully she smiled huge and I snuck some of the strawberry one in and she forgave me for my theft of her chicken. She was once again our little bird, open mouth and waiting for us to fill it with yummy goodness.

Just an hour left, 8 years… hard feeling to describe, it is a very good feeling. I am so ready for the next part of this journey, I feel like I have climbed a mountain and now I can see so much, I see where I can go, the choices I can make and the valley I am going to travel through next.

Blessed.

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