I had a plan.

It didn’t happen.

I worked on another plan.

Then tossed it to the wind.

Rethought my whole approach, and found it wanting.

To much planning and not enough doing.

I read an article today about the shortfalls of our education system and how it is not preparing young people to be adults of tomorrow but setting them up to be successful adults of a time period they won’t live in, so in essence failing them for their future. It made me think, I was a good student, I could get those high grades, the ones that made you ripe for success. Somehow I found my passion in a career that those skills both helped and are hindering me. I am still a good student, I don’t memorise for a test but really learn what I love. However, now that I am finished with the first part of my studies and ready to practice I don’t seem to know the formula to make my ‘straight A’s’ academic life into a ‘straight A’s’ professional career. I am ready for patients, ready to share what I have learned, ready to start making money and yet where are they?

My creative soul is stuck in my intellect and my dreams are slowly being strangled with details.

My life does not allow for me to set up a clinic, every part of it a thoughtful and seamless part of the whole. I don’t have a marketing budget, I don’t have a lot of things. I do have desire, I do have dreams, I do have a certain reality that I love and need to work with. Most importantly as of today I have more flexibility in my thinking. I was trying to micro manage every detail, it all had to be right, it had to be something I could manage and knew what the path was. I was holding myself underwater saying ‘breathe, swim’ oblivious that I have no gills.

So today, I start again, and thats okay. I can start a million times so long as I keep learning and trying something new to get where I want to go. Just because one path was not fruitful does not mean the destination is imaginary.