Today was hot, sticky-melty hot.
I don’t like oppressive heat, not if there are things I want to do and there is no way to stay cool while doing it. My list things I felt like doing today got a lot smaller than my original intentions were. Which seems to be a theme in my world. Making excuses for not doing what I need to do, or think I need to do, or think I should want to do or the best, think I should want to do the thing I need to do. Oh the mind, it is a tangled mess of conflicting thoughts running rampant on false beliefs fuelled by the various faces of fearful emotions.
HA! Can you tell Denis and I spent a good few hours today and tonight discussing philosophy and other like topics? It is a passion of mine, diving into the self to find the bits that hold me back from a life of abundance. I want to know what it is that keeps me from really thriving, each step I take to remove a false belief makes my life so much more enjoyable. I have a great life as anyone who has been reading for very long knows, or you know because you know me outside my blog as well. However, I know there is more. I know this because I can see and feel the things that are holding me back. I know that the root of their power is some belief I have deep inside and so I want that out.
Somewhere in my day today I stumbled across the work of a woman who has made a map of how to deal with these feelings. How to find the truth behind the pain, anger, hurt, fear… and you know what? It is good. It is a tool that I will carry forward with me for awhile to help me with the trickier false beliefs that just kinda sit outside my full understanding. The ones that I get but a part is missing, the part that will make it true and easy to let go.
Money issues, I have them. I am working on them, I can intellectualise my issues but I don’t get it enough that ‘the truth shall set you free’. I can talk my way around the whole thing, but I don’t feel it in my core. I am hoping this new tool can help me. The lady’s name is Byron Katie and she has a work sheet she hands out for free to anyone who goes to her website, of how to break down false beliefs to find the truth behind them. I am going to try them because all medicine has its jurisdiction and right now this resonates with me.
I forgot to say that yesterday my business cards came. I am so excited for them, Denis helped me with the design and I am really pleased with the outcome. Time to start a new chapter in my life.
I am ready.